Oh, so close.

I haven't been posting much here because I am patiently waiting for the copyright to come back for You + Me, my collection of short stories and poems.  My patience is starting to run out though because I am really excited to share the collection with all of you PLUS I am really starting to feel the itch to write the sequel to my first novella, The Awful Truth of Loving.  

One might ask: "So, why don't you just start writing it then?"

And that's a fair question, but the way my creative process works is I can't fully start to work on the next project until the current one is finished.  I know that sounds like an excuse, but I've learned over the years the way in which I as an artist and a writer work best and this is just how it works for me.  I need things to go in order.  

I have started to outline the next book and write up some character descriptions and plant little seeds of the book in my mind, but until I have You + Me published I'm stuck in my own writer's purgatory.  Keep your fingers crossed for me that the copyright comes any day now.

 And since you have all been so patient waiting along with me, I will share another story that will be included in You + Me.  It is called...

Teach Me

            Words are just words until you string them together into a sentence that gives them meaning.  And moments are just moments until there is someone there to remember when they were more.  I’m learning to let things go.  I’m trying to let things be, but no matter how many times I am forced to learn this lesson, I always seem to forget in an instant that nothing I hold is truly mine and the more I try to hold onto anything, the more slippery and elusive it becomes.  It’s like holding onto the wings of a butterfly while commanding it to fly.

            And so I stand naked again in front of my master, all of my armor and defenses lying in pathetic broken pieces on the floor.  I no longer possess the strength or arrogance to pick them up. 

“I am ready to learn,” I say.  “What is the lesson for today?”

            It amazes me how my feelings can change, how something I once believed in so strongly can suddenly become its polar opposite without a second thought or a moment of regret.  Things can seem dark and murky, but then suddenly the clouds part, shedding light on things I never even dreamed possible.  Hopeless beings we humans are. 

I see the seasons change.  Year after year, winter follows autumn and summer follows spring.  Yet, when feelings of despair visit me I latch onto them, convinced things will always be this way.  But why can’t I see that my feelings are also malleable like the seasons?  They too are always changing into what will naturally follow next.

            I was convinced it was over for me and that I would never get past certain feelings plaguing my mind, but then suddenly, I’m able to get passed them just as easily as passing through a threshold to the outside world.  And I couldn’t even tell you where the dividing line was between hopelessness and hope.  It came without warning and I was given another chance to prove that I was listening, that I had learned the lesson finally and completely that time.

            Or so I thought...but even if I didn’t fully learn the lesson or however easy it is to forget, it’s okay because the master is always there.  I will be tested again and again.  And if I should fail once more, there is always the opportunity to strip away the armor, the arrogance, to tear away my weak defenses and say, “I’m sorry I wasn’t listening, but I’m listening now.  Please teach me the lesson again.”